


That's Not My Name

by WandaRavenBlack



Series: Bad Things Happen - Dick Grayson [4]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Amnesia, Angry Dick Grayson, Angry Jason Todd, BAMF Dick Grayson, Batcave (DCU), Brainwashing, Electrocution, Hurt Dick Grayson, Kidnapping, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Protective Damian Wayne, Protective Jason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 10:01:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20928377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WandaRavenBlack/pseuds/WandaRavenBlack
Summary: BRAINWASHINGDick gets captured by Slade and injected with some drugs. When he wakes up, he doesn't know where he is, why he is there and, most importantly, who he is.





	That's Not My Name

Dick cursed himself. How could he be so stupid? Of course there was no way to outsmart Slade. He tried to fight against the ropes that bound him to the chair, but the mercenary had done a good job. He could barely move at all. There were no windows in the room so he didn’t know how long he had been there. But, if he had to guess, he would say a few hours. Had Bruce already started looking for him? No. It would take more than a few hours of radio silence to worry Batman. He heard the door open and looked up. Slade stepped into the room with a smile on his face. Dick sighed. Somehow, knowing what he looked like, made the man less interesting. 

“What are you going to do with me?” 

For a moment, the mercenary just looked at him. Then he pulled out a syringe out from his pocket. Dick frowned. Drugs? Or something paralytic? Neither of them sounded like something Slade would use. He tried to move away as he approached, but the bonds kept him still on the chair. 

“This shouldn’t hurt.” 

Slade’s voice was almost comforting, before he quickly injected Dick with the clear liquid. For a few seconds, nothing happened. Then he felt it. A burning sensation in his head, and a slight pressure in the back of his neck. Then blackness. 

********

When he woke up, he was in a big room. He was on the bed, several cushions under his head and a soft blanket over him. The room was bright from the sun that came in through the big window. He looked around. A desk with papers and files on, a big wardrobe, an armchair with a small table next to it. A soft rug on the floor. The walls were light blue, the furniture black, the rug dark blue. Very slowly, he stood up from the bed and stretched slightly. He had black sweatpants and a black t-shirt on, and was barefoot. Everything seemed normal, except for the fact that he had no idea where he was. He walked over to the window and looked out. There was a big park outside the building. Three teenagers were seemingly arguing over some books, a mother was trying to get her son away from the swings. A bit further away, a few kids were throwing a frisbee while a dog ran between them, trying to catch it. A normal, calm day. He jumped slightly and turned back when he heard the door opening. A tall man with white hair and an eyepatch walked inside. His eye widened slightly when he saw the young man. 

“Little Bird?” 

He tilted his head. 

“Who are you? Where am I?” 

And then, realizing that there was something even more important he needed to know, he asked: 

“Who am I?” 

The man frowned, before sighing. 

“Damn. Look, kid. I’m not going to hurt you, alright.” 

The young man shook his head. 

“That’s not what I asked about.” 

The man smirked. 

“The temper seems to be the same. Alright. Listen. Your name is Richard Wilson. You are home. This is your room.” 

The young man tilted his head. Richard. That… Actually sounded right. Alright. That was a start. He looked around the room. The colours seemed right. He liked them. 

“Who are you?” 

“My name is Slade Wilson.” 

Richard’s brain flew a thousand miles a second, before screeching to a halt. 

“Wait. Are you…?” 

Slade nodded. 

“I’m your father.” 

Richard flopped down onto the bed. This was a bit too much to take in at once. His father. This was his father and he didn’t remember him. Slade sat down next to him and sighed. 

“Let’s take this slowly. Is there anything you remember?” 

Richard shook his head. 

“No. Nothing.” 

“Not even Batman?” 

Another head shake. 

“No. Who is that?” 

Slade looked away, an odd look on his face. When he looked back to Richard, the look was gone. 

“It’s the man who did this to you. He’s a vigilante here in Gotham. He’s been trying to stop us for years now. Last night, him and his sidekicks fought us. I got held up by the sidekicks, and you took on Batman by yourself. I heard you screaming and, when I got to you, you were passed out on the floor. Batman disappeared and I took you back here.” 

Richard looked at him with a frown. 

“Why has he been trying to stop us? What did we do?” 

“We’re mercenaries, Richard. Guns for hire.” 

Richard flew up to his feet, shaking his head furiously. 

“No, no, no. I don’t… I couldn’t kill. It doesn’t sound like me.” 

Quickly, Slade grabbed his wrist and pulled him down to sit on the bed again. 

“No. You don’t kill. You steal sometimes. But, other than that, you are trying to make this city a better place. You’re Nightwing. A vigilante. And, whenever you can’t capture a bad guy, I come in and put a bullet in his head. That's what the Bat has a problem with.” 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Richard trying to organize all the new information. Then, he stood up and walked over to the window again. Behind him, Slade put his hand on the handle of his gun. 

“I don’t understand. If I’m a vigilante and I’m trying to help people, why did Batman do this to me?” 

His voice was broken and Slade let go of the gun. 

“Because you are my son. He knows that the easiest way to hurt me, is to hurt you.” 

He stood up slowly and walked over to the boy. 

“Don’t worry about the Bat right now, Richard. Let’s get you something to eat.” 

*******

Richard made a precise jump and landed with his knife against Slade’s throat. The man smirked. 

“Good job, kid.” 

The young man grinned in response, before moving away. 

“Can I go out on patrol now?” 

Slade hesitated. He hadn’t allowed him out on patrol for these two weeks, and Richard could understand it. If the Bat was really after them, they should be very careful. But, at the same time, he was getting restless. Noticing that the man hadn’t shut him down immediately, he continued. 

“Come on, dad. Please. I’ll be careful. Really. I’ll keep communication with you, and I won’t try to seek out the bats. Just please let me go.” 

After a few seconds, Slade nodded with a sigh. 

“Alright. Suit up and go. But remember, Richard. If you see a bat, you run in the opposite direction. Is that understood?” 

Richard nodded. He still wanted some answers from the Bat, but he could agree to running away for now if it meant he could go on patrol. Quickly, he rushed forward and hugged the man. Slade froze for a millisecond, before hugging him back. 

“Thanks, dad.” 

And he ran out. In his room, he pulled out his Nightwing suit. It felt right to him. He had put it on before. It fit. It was his. With a grin, he opened the window and jumped out, shooting the grappling hook at the last second. He swung himself from roof to roof, not really thinking about where he was going, until he landed on the highest roof in the city. It felt right to be up there. He could see out over the entire city. Somewhere in the distance, he saw the bat signal light up, but stayed where he was. He wasn’t going to get involved with the Bat. Not yet. Suddenly, he heard a thump behind him and a startled gasp. With one quick move, he turned around and pulled his Escrima Sticks out. But then he hesitated. The man on the other side of the roof wore the bat’s symbol on his chest. It was red and it confused him. His father had told him about the bats and, as far as he was aware, there was no red bat. Red Robin, Robin and Batgirl. No one with a red symbol. The man was wearing a red helmet over his face and had guns fastened to his thighs. And that shocked him even more. His father had been very clear on the fact that the bats did not use guns. 

“Nightwing?” 

Richard relaxed his posture a bit. This man knew him. 

“Who are you?” 

“Who am… Wait, what?” 

He reached up and pulled his helmet off, revealing black hair with a white strip. Richard tilted his head. 

“My question stands. Who are you? How do you know me?” 

For a moment, the other man looked like he didn’t know what to say. Then he shook his head and took a few steps closer. 

“I’m Jason. Don’t you remember me?” 

Nightwing snorted. 

“Up until two weeks ago, I didn’t even know what my name was. If it hadn’t been for dad taking care of me, I would most probably still not know who I am.” 

The man frowned. 

“Your dad? Wait a second. What do you remember? I mean, what do you know?” 

Richard hesitated, but then decided to tell him. This man seemed to know him from before. And, as he had noticed in the beginning, there were no attempts to reach for the guns. His father hadn’t told him about him working with another vigilante, but maybe it had just slipped his mind. A voice in his head, a very sarcastic voice that he had been hearing more and more often, told him that nothing ever slipped Slade Wilson’s mind, but he shut it down quickly. It was the same voice that seemed to be set on keeping him arguing with his father. 

“My name is Richard Wilson. My father is Slade Wilson, aka Deathstroke. I’m a vigilante called Nightwing. Two weeks ago I fought against Batman and he did something to me that made me lose all my memories. That’s all I know.” 

The man looked pissed, but seemed to calm down quickly. 

“Alright. That’s a start. I’m Jason Todd. Red Hood. I’m your friend.” 

Richard tilted his head. 

“Why are you wearing the Bat’s symbol?” 

Jason sighed. 

“That’s a story for another place. Somewhere where people won’t overhear us. Come on. I saw the symbol earlier, so that means the Bat is on patrol tonight, most probably with Robin and Red Robin. Maybe Batgirl too. Let’s go to a safe house and talk.” 

Richard hesitated, before nodding. He wanted answers and it seemed that this man would give them to him. He saw him put the helmet back on and then followed him down to the ground. There, stood a big bike. He stopped and frowned. That bike. He remembered it. Or, at least, he remembered riding it, feeling the wind in his hair. Jason sat down on the seat and looked back at him. 

“Come on. Let’s go.” 

He remembered this, so it couldn’t be bad. Quickly, he sat down behind him and grabbed onto his jacket. Jason drove aggressively, almost as if he was taking out some of his frustration on the road. They drove for ten minutes, before Jason stopped in front of a big mansion. Dick stepped off the bike, his eyes wide open. 

“You live here?” 

Jason shrugged, leading the man around the house to a toolshed. 

“Not exactly. My adopted father does. But this is a safe house.” 

Dick stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. 

“Wait a second. A sefehouse, or a safe house?” 

Jason just shrugged again and pulled his helmet off. 

“Come on.” 

Together, they walked into the toolshed and Jason put his hand on one of the shelves. A voice rung out in the small building. 

“Access?” 

“Jason Todd and Nightwing.” 

“Granted.” 

Another shelf suddenly moved to the side, revealing stairs. Jason grinned at Richard and started climbing down. Richard shook his head. This man seemed so happy to show everything off. Without a word, he followed him, still curious as to why he was wearing the Bat’s symbol. At the bottom of the stairs, he stopped in shock. It was a big cave. Suits were in glass boxes around the room, but he didn’t get to think too much about them, because a big dark figure stood up from the chair that was in the middle of the cave. 

“Jason, why…?” 

Batman stopped in the middle of the sentence, his eyes widening slightly when he saw Richard. Quickly, he took a few steps towards him, only to stop when Nightwing whipped his sticks out and charged them. Suddenly, Jason stepped between them, his hands up in a calming gesture. 

“Whoa. Calm down, Dick. I didn’t know he would be here.” 

Richard looked at him with disbelief. 

“I swear. I thought that he was on patrol. I mean, sure, I knew he would show up sooner or later, but I would have preferred the later.” 

Something he said caught Richard’s attention. 

“Why did you call me a dick?” 

For a moment, Jason seemed honestly confused. Then he burst out laughing. 

“No. Not a dick. Dick as in a nickname. Short from Richard.” 

Richard shook his head. 

“Why would I want that nickname? Dad sometimes calls me Ricky, but that’s it.” 

The Bat flinched slightly at his words, before turning to Jason. 

“Jason. What is the meaning of this?” 

He took a step towards him, and Richard acted on instinct. He threw himself forward, jabbing the sticks out towards what he saw as a threat to one of the people he seemed to be close to. The Bat jumped back in the last second, avoiding getting electrocuted by mere centimeters. Just then, the door at the top of another staircase opened and two boys came inside. The slightly older one noticed them and ran straight at him, being saved from electrocution by Batman’s quick reflexes. The younger one stepped down slowly, a frown on his face. 

“Grayson?” 

Richard felt his hands tighten on his sticks. Three bats. Four if he counted Jason, but he doubted that he would attack him. The boy came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs. 

“What happened to you?” 

Nightwing glared at him. 

“Why don’t you ask your master? He will tell you all about it.” 

Before any of the older men could answer, the boy spoke up calmly. 

“As much as I’m sure it would amuse my grandfather, I have no wish to call my father that name. Now tell me, Grayson, what happened to you?” 

Richard decided that he liked this boy. He had a bite to him and he didn’t seem to be concerned about what the others thought about him. But father? Was it really possible that the Bat had a son? 

“Why do you keep calling me that?” 

“It’s your name. Richard Grayson.” 

Suddenly, everything fell into place. And Richard started laughing. The bats exchanged surprised looks. It was clearly not what they had been expecting. Collecting himself, Richard shook his head. 

“So that was your plan. Make me forget everything, only to feed me lies later on and make me believe that I was working for you. What did you plan me to do, huh? Kill some people? Go against my father? Well, screw you, Bat. Dad got to me first. My name is Richard Wilson. I’m the son of Deathstroke. Nothing you do can change that.” 

Batman exchanged looks with the older boy, before shaking his head. 

“I…” 

He was cut off by the voice at the top of the stairs. 

“Access?” 

“Kid Flash” 

“Granted.” 

The door opened and a whoosh of wind was heard, before a young man came to a stop next to Jason. 

“Dick?! You’re back! Where have you been?!” 

He moved closer to Richard, and the man acted on instinct. He thrust his stick out, in the exact place where the speedster appeared. They heard a scream, and then the red-head was on the ground. He jumped up seconds later, shaking his head. 

“What the…?! Not cool dude. Totally not feeling the aster.” 

At that, the last word, Richard felt something almost burning in his head. His entire body shook, before he looked up into a pair of green eyes. 

“What did you just say?” 

The speedster tilted his head. 

“Which part? And why did you just shock me? And with that voltage. You never use that kind of voltage. Even on people that can’t get electrocuted. What’s going on?” 

“SHUT UP!”

The speedster stopped, his eyes widening. 

“Now. What did you just say?” 

He seemed to go over what he had just said in his head, before understanding appeared on his face. 

“I said that I’m totally not feeling the aster.” 

Another shot of fire in his brain. This time, it was a bit stronger. He gasped slightly, before looking up at the speedster again. 

“What are you doing to me?” 

A sudden smile appeared on his face. 

“You came up with this. Feel the aster, get traught, stay whelmed.” 

The fire made him scream and fall to his knees. The speedster and the kid were next to him immediately, Jason following close behind. Dick looked up, a frown on his face. 

“Wally?” 

Wally smiled, before getting the worried look again, when Richard screamed once again. When he looked up, his eyes were slightly disoriented. 

“What…?” 

He noticed Batman and quickly crawled backwards away from them all. 

“No. Please don’t.” 

The Bat made a hand movement to keep the others in place and took a few steps closer to Richard, an unreadable look on his face. 

“Don’t what?” 

“Please don’t make me forget again. I don’t want to forget my dad. Please. I’ll do whatever you want.” 

For a moment, the Bat seemed to hesitate, before he nodded. 

“Whatever I want?” 

He ignored the protesting sounds the others made, his glare staying on the boy on the ground. 

“Yes. Whatever you want.” 

“You give me your word?” 

Richard nodded quickly. 

“Yes. You have my word. Just don’t make me forget again.” 

“B what are you…?” 

Batman cut off the older boy's question. 

“Call your father and tell him to get here.” 

For a moment, everyone was too stunned to say anything. Then, Richard shook his head. 

“No. You’ll kill him. I won’t… “

“You gave your word, Wilson. And I thought your father would have taught you to always keep your word. What would he say if he knew that you were breaking yours?” 

Richard closed his eyes for a moment, before reaching his hand up to his ear and activating the comm. 

“Dad?” 

His father answered immediately. 

_ “Yeah? How is patrol going?”  _

“I… I need you to come somewhere.” 

_ “Where? What’s wrong? Are you alright?”  _

He looked up to the Bat, almost pleading with his eyes. But the man was staring down at him without any emotions on his face. 

“The Bat-cave.” 

_ “What?!”  _

He flinched, hearing his father’s raised voice. 

“Just… Please, get me out of here.” 

_ “On my way. Don’t get killed. And be ready for a long talk when we get home.”  _

The comm shut off and he looked up at the Bat again. 

“He’s on his way.” 

Jason twitched. 

“Wait. Deathstroke knows where the cave is?” 

Batman nodded. 

“I’ve suspected it for some time now.” 

Then he turned back to Nightwing. 

“Get off the floor. No one here will hurt you.” 

Richard looked at him with a frown. 

“You made me forget. How do you expect me to trust you?” 

The Bat shrugged. 

“I don’t know what to tell you, kid. I don’t want to hurt you. It’s Slade I have a problem with, not you. Behave and nothing will happen to you. Now get up, walk over to that couch and sit down. And don’t try to electrocute anyone.” 

And he walked over to the chair to sit down again. Jason glared after him, before walking over to Richard and stretching his hand out. 

“I trusted you.” 

He hesitated, hearing the accusation in his voice. Then, he crouched down, and sighed. 

“Listen. For all it’s worth, I’m sorry. I didn’t know it would end up like this.” 

Richard looked at him with anger, before standing up and walking over to the couch. He sat down, turning the electricity off on his sticks and putting them on his lap. Everyone else walked closer to where Batman was sitting, casting occasional glances at Richard. Five minutes later, they heard the voice at the top of the stairs. 

“Access?” 

Silence, and then: 

“Granted.” 

The door opened and they saw Deathstroke slowly walking down, in full armour. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and took a deep breath. 

“Richard.” 

The young man flew up from his seat and hurried over to his father. 

“Dad, I…” 

Slade cut him off. 

“We’ll talk about that later.” 

He turned to Batman and tilted his head. 

“What do you think you’re doing with my son?” 

The Bat stood up and took a few steps towards him, the others flanking him. 

“What did you do to him?” 

Slade laughed. 

“Me? I saved him. The question is what you did to him.” 

Richard felt slightly uncomfortable, almost as if something was wrong, but he stayed where he was. He wouldn’t leave his father and risk forgetting again. And Slade just continued. 

“I’m actually surprised. That you aren’t trying harder to keep him here.”

The Bat shook his head. 

“With the state he’s in, he won’t leave you. And I’m not going to use force on him.” 

“So you’re just going to let us leave?” 

Very slowly, Batman nodded. Richard felt himself relaxing slightly, before he heard a gun’s safety being taken off. Everyone turned to where Jason was pointing his gun at Slade. Without a thought, Richard moved forward and put himself in front of the man. He saw that Jason hesitated, before steadying his gun. 

“I will shoot him through you, Dick. So you better just move.” 

A second later, he was thrown against the wall, his gun on the floor. Wally stood in the same place he had been before, his eyes glaring. Then, he turned to Richard, who had drawn his Escrima sticks and charged them. 

“Dick.” 

Blue eyes turned to him, and that was when he realized that Nightwing didn’t have his mask on. He had been running around the city with no mask. Moving as slowly and calmly as he could, he took a few steps closer to him, stopping within his reach. Richard frowned. What was that speedster doing? Just a few more centimeters and he would get electrocuted. Again. 

“Dick, you are my best friend. I don’t want to live in a world where we have to fight. If this is really what you want, then go ahead. Do what you must.” 

Blue eyes widened, before sudden clarity appeared in them. With one quick move, Dick turned around and jabbed both his sticks into Slade’s stomach. The man grunted when electricity shot through his body. He tried to move away, but stopped and started shaking when Dick heightened the voltage. His eyes were blazing with fury. 

“Dick! Stop!” 

He ignored the voice and didn’t stop until he felt Batman grab him around the waist and lift him away from the mercenary. Everyone’s eyes widened when they saw him sink down to the ground, his entire body twitching. Jason stood up and walked over to him, picking up his gun on the way. 

“Jason.” 

There was warning in Bruce’s voice, but he had no way of stopping him, since he was still holding onto a struggling Dick. Suddenly, Damian walked over to the mercenary and pulled his sword out, ignoring the slight spark that jumped from the metal onto his hand. He looked up at Jason and they both nodded, before Damian raised the sword over his head. Wally’s eyes widened and he sped across the room, pulling the sword away from the boy and, once again, knocking the gun out of Jason’s hand. Seeing that, Dick started to struggle even more, before finally going limp in Bruce’s arms. 

“West.” 

Wally looked at Bruce and sped over to them, grabbing Dick’s arms and holding onto him. Bruce walked over to Damian and pushed him to the side, while Tim was doing his best to calm Jason. Seeing that they had everything under control, he handcuffed Slade and put an inhibitor collar on him. Slade raised his head slightly and they could all hear the smirk in his voice when he spoke up. 

“Shame. You would have made a perfect mercenary one day. Maybe I could’ve even convinced you to kill the Bat.” 

Dick tore himself away from Wally and actually managed to get around Bruce, on his way to Slade. Without a thought, he put the ends of both sticks against his throat, right next to the collar, and charged them. Slade’s body started convulsing on the ground, until Bruce lifted Dick into the air, physically holding him off the ground. Once again, the young man was struggling to get out of his grasp, managing to give Bruce a few lesser electric shocks, making the man drop him to the ground. He charged at Slade again, only to find himself suddenly in the air, held in Superman’s firm grasp. 

“That’s enough, Dick.” 

The young man tried to wriggle his way out of the hold, and even went as far as to try to shock the man of steel, but was unsuccessful and finally let his body hang limply. On the ground, Damian and Wally were helping Bruce stand up from where Dick’s kick had put him. 

“I got your distress call, but had some trouble explaining to my boss why I suddenly had to leave. I’m sorry for taking so long.” 

Bruce nodded. 

“I think you can put him down.” 

Gently, Clark landed and put Dick down on the ground, keeping a hand on his shoulder as a warning against moving. Seeing him, Jason calmed down too. He knew there was no way he could get around Superman to kill Deathstroke. 

“Is he…?” 

Tim’s unsure question cut through the silence that ensured. Clark shook his head. 

“No. I can hear his heart beating. He’ll recover.” 

Hearing that, Dick tried to move, but froze in place when Clark’s hand tightened almost painfully on his shoulder. 

“I think you’ve done enough, Dick. Let the League deal with him.” 

The young man looked over to Bruce, but the Bat was clearly avoiding his eyes. With a huff, he shrugged. 

“Whatever you wish. But he’ll be out as soon as you let him out of your sight. And he’ll keep coming back every time.” 

Then he turned to Jason. 

“Can I stay with you for some time, Jay?” 

Jason seemed surprised at that. 

“With me? I’m not exactly living a crime free life.” 

Dick nodded and sudden understanding appeared in Jason’s eyes. 

“Oh. Sure. Why not. You’ll have to take the couch though. I’m not sharing a bed with you. You hog the blankets. And no putting your nose in my business.” 

He walked over to the stairs and looked back. 

“You coming?” 

Very carefully, Clark let go of him and Dick quickly walked over to Jason, not looking down at Slade who was still unconscious. 

“Dick.” 

Bruce’s voice was emotionless again and Dick turned around with a glare. 

“I’ll come in for questioning tomorrow. I need food and sleep.” 

Before Bruce could answer, Clark nodded his head. 

“Of course. I’ll pick you up from Jason’s house tomorrow and bring you to the Watchtower.” 

Jason wrinkled his nose. 

“No thanks. I don’t want my associates to see Superman anywhere near my place. We’ll take the Zeta-Tube here in Gotham tomorrow morning.” 

Once again, Clark answered before Bruce could. 

“Excellent.” 

With a nod, Jason put his hand on Dick’s elbow and lead him out of the cave. They stepped out onto the grass outside the mansion and Dick sighed heavily. Jason looked at him with worry. 

“You alright there? No memory losses?” 

Dick shrugged. 

“I remember waking up in that room, MY room, as Slade had said, and him telling me who I am. I remember fighting him on a rooftop before that, and being knocked out. He kept me in a basement and injected me with something.” 

He shrugged again. Jason frowned, before putting a hand on his shoulder. 

“What’s going on? Something’s clearly bothering you.” 

Dick hesitated for a long moment, before finally speaking up. 

“I just don’t understand it. Slade took me away, made me believe that I was his son, made me hate Batman more than I ever hated Zucco. He would have kept me with him, and kept feeding me lies for the rest of my life. He would have beaten me black and blue for being in the Bat-cave, and still Bruce was going to let me go with him. And when I remembered, he stopped me from beating him up. He didn’t even seem mad. I just thought…” 

“That if there was anyone Bruce would want to avenge it would be one of his sons?” 

Dick’s eyes widened, and Jason smiled sadly.

“Trust me, I know what you mean. That’s exactly the same way I was when I came back. I thought that, if there was one person Bruce wouldn’t let the Joker hurt, it would be me. But, when I came back, I realized that he couldn’t do it. Joker killed me, and Bruce still couldn’t do anything to avenge me. So I decided to avenge myself. I became a killer. Something YOU can’t allow yourself to be.” 

The older man looked at him with surprise. 

“Don’t look at me like that. I know you have every right to become like me. You want to get rid of Slade permanently, just as you wanted to get rid of Zucco all those years ago. You stopped yourself back then, and you have to stop yourself now.” 

“But why? Why can’t I finally get rid of him, once and for all?” 

Jason sighed. 

“Because you are the only one keeping us all from becoming killers.” 

Dick took a startled step back, looking at Jason with shock. The younger man smiled sadly. 

“It’s true. I saw it in Bruce when I was still Robin. He would sometimes hold himself back. Land one punch too little. Hold back just a bit more. When I asked him why he did it, he told me that he couldn’t let himself do it, because of his code. When I asked Clark about it, he said that Bruce didn’t want to disappoint you. Tim has looked up to you ever since he was a kid. I once saw a picture in his room of him when he was a small child, in a circus. Posing for the picture with the Flying Graysons. He knows of many ways to get rid of people but he doesn’t do it, because you never do it. You set the standards and rules for what it meant to be Robin, and he still follows them, even though he outgrew the suit. And Damian? That kid adores you, even though he would behead me if he heard me say that. He looks up to you, not Bruce. As long as you say that killing is bad and follow that rule, he holds back. Soon as you take that step and kill, he’ll go on a killing spree himself. You saw him in there. He didn’t make a move towards Deathstroke, until you tried to kill him. Then he suddenly thought it would be alright to behead him right there and then. And me? Sure, I kill, but I don’t see myself as a killer per se. What I’m doing is necessary for me to keep my position. But honestly, all I want is to go to Arkham Asylum and murder every bad guy in there. I don’t. And you know why I don’t? Because I know that you’d be disappointed in me. Not Bruce. I don’t give a rat’s ass about what he thinks about me. But I care about what you think. You see now? You’re the one who we all need to give us a good example. Because if you give in, we all will.” 

Dick was completely stunned. Not only because this was the longest monologue he had ever heard from Jason, but also because he had never thought he mattered that much to his family. With a soft smile appearing on his lips, he moved forward and hugged Jason. The younger brother froze for a moment, before returning the hug. He pulled away just seconds later, rolling his eyes. 

“Alright. That’s enough. I feel like I’m ruining all my reputation right now.” 

Then he tilted his head, seeing that Dick’s smile had disappeared. 

“What?” 

“I just… I still don’t understand it. Why did he act so distant when I came back to being myself? I understand when I was still thinking I was Slade’s son. I had been told that he was dangerous and he had to keep up appearances to make sure I got Slade to come there and didn’t try to fight. But why did he act to oddly afterwards?” 

Jason shrugged. 

“I’m not sure. He’s always been an odd man, and you know it. Maybe he just needs time to figure out how to deal with this. Let’s wait till tomorrow. See how the hearing goes. We can try to talk to him then, see if he’s recovered from everything that happened. If he hasn’t, you can stay with me for some time. Now let’s go. I don’t want to be here when Clark comes out with Slade.” 

Dick nodded and followed him. He was still slightly confused, but decided to not dwell on it. Maybe things would get back to normal once they all slept on them. As he sat down behind Jason on the motorcycle, he smiled softly. At least he knew he could count on his brothers whatever happened. 


End file.
